PHIL BRODIE BAND'S FUN PAGE . . ENJOY
FOR FEBRUARY 2011
FEW OF LIFES IRRITATING
Thankyou to everyone who has sent me these in
on dual carriageways,
one going at 50mph, the other at 51mph
*Crap film endings, especially when
the film has been a good one , leaves you feeling cheated.
*Such long waits at airport security!!
.. better than a bomb I say
*Pop-ups, pop-ups, pop-ups
*Holiday 2 star hotels claiming to
be 4 star hotels.
and young people striding along the street dragging a small 3 or 4 year-old
along who has to run to keep up.
*Newspapers adding 'gate' to any and
of garlic should be refused any form of public transport. It only takes
one garlic eater for a bus for the whole vehicle to stink and there is nothing
worse than a garlic eater who sits behind me on the bus and spends the whole
journey breathing down my neck... yak-sik-ughhh!
the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
bottom shelf of my dishwasher coming off it's runners every time I use it.
putting their goods on completely different aisles all the time.
*High street banks pretending to be
different from each other
*British wet grey summer days.
*Nearly all the "Humorous"
birthday cards seem to be cards where the humour relates to the recipients
age, sexual dysfuntion and poor memory.. please widen your minds
*Apostrophes in the wrong places.
There's at least one in the other gripes. (sorry!!)
*People who spit in the street.
*Shop assistances who ask "Are
you alright?" instead of "Can I help you?"
*People boasting they can eat whatever
they like without putting weight on
*The commercial break intervals on
TV getting longer and longer
*The words "so not", as
in "I am so not looking forward to that"
*Foul mouthed chefs
*Fortnightly rubbish collections,
coupled with increased council tax.
*Expensive trendy clothes and designer
cloths made so badly.
*People who chew gum with there mouths
*People who leave dirty and/or wet
toilet paper and tissue paper all over the floors in night club toilets
*People who throw lit cigarette ends
out of moving car windows
*Miracle Diets , more like Miracle
Money Makers!! The miracle is for the money making manufacturers that so
many people still fall for a con.
*'Buy One Get One Free' offers on
all the items we don't really want
*Neighbour's visitors who sound their
horn when leaving.
*Speed camera warning signs that do
not display the permitted speed for the road
*People who (rightly) scoop up their
dog's poo and put it in a plastic bag, but then hang the bag on a fence,
branch of a tree or gate latch. Please use the public bins or your own dust
*Knighthoods given to everyone other
*Excessively high prices for soft
drinks in pubs and hotels
*Fortnightly rubbish collections,
coupled with increased council tax.
*Dieting for a whole week and not
loosing a single pound!!
*Traffic lights, when the red light
is on a lot longer than the green light.
*Tiny dogs being used as fashion accessories
by the stars.
anti-spray mudflaps that don't work on the motorways in the rain.
* Politicians never resigning.
*People who take two parking spaces
up in a crowded carpark, AND so many park just over the line so if you manage
to squeeze in the neighboring space you can't get out of your car!
*That stupid FCUK logo.
*Xpats criticising Britain, but do
not pay there taxes here.
*Things being discribed as 'the new
with more than one mobile phone "Hang on a moment, I'm just on my other
mobile" .. ummm moments cost money, hang up saying "ring me back".
* The use of the word "aqua"
on beauty products to mask
the fact they are made up of nine-tenths or there abouts .. just water.
*Artists makings 1000's of pounds
from paintings our children could do just as well.
*TV and film reveiwers, who give away
who can't hear us because they're always wearing iPods.
*Voice overs, done by famous actors,
when the work could go to their struggling fellow thespians.
*Websites that advertise their products
and then ask you to ring up for price or other details ugh!
*People who write your when they mean
*Filthy, scruffy London Underground
*People who start a sentence with
"I am not a (whatever) ... BUT..."
*The letter 'H' is spelt A-I-T-C-H,
there is NO H in the word. It is so very annoying more and more people
pronounce it haitch. Even teachers in schools are teaching our children
this dreadful annoying WRONG pronunciation.
*Being asked to rate every transaction
on the internet.
*People that give the answer "Oh
well!"... all of the time.
*People who don't flush public toilets.
(yes, and the ones who wet the seat!!)
*People making fun of people with
*Chain e-mails that threaten us with
bad luck if we don't pass them on.
*Websites that inhibit your back button
so you can't get back to where you were. Yes.. so
*People asking me to enter my PIN
number, it's not a "PIN number" .. it is a "PIN", the
'N' stands for number.
*People who refer to the centre lane
of the motorway as "the driving lane" and never use the inside
lane even when the road is clear to the horizon.
*Finding out every week that something
else we eat and drink is bad for us.
*Cyclists ignoring the cycle paths
that cost a fortune to install.
*People when you have lost something
saying "when did you have it last?"
*Paying more duty on our fuel than
Americans pay for their fuel.
*Badly spoken children's TV presenters.
*Jules Holland playing Boogi - Woogie.
*People who say things like 'My eyes
aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington
*Celebrities demanding our money for
charities without putting their hands in their own pockets (I know many
do .. but as many don't)
*Continual repeats on TV, especially
*Our "where there's blame, there's
a claim" society.
increasing their prices more than the inflation rate.
*People who are willing to get off
their arse to search the entire room for the TV. remote because they refuse
to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
*Celebrities who do anything to get
noticed, then complain bitterly about the invasion of thier privacy
*Sport persons who talk about giving
*Lorries that hog the outside lane
of a dual carriageway all the way up a hill.
*People talking all the way though
a film at the movies.
*People who jump queues.
*People who dawdle across zebra crossings
while talking on their cell phones.
*People who say 'could of' and 'would
of' instead of 'could have' and 'would have'.
*Cyclists wearing personal stereos.
*Market researchers; now,
they are even coming into restaurants.
*Cinemas that insist on showing only
kiddy films in the school holidays.
*People who keep the plastic covers
on their three-piece suites.
*Doughnuts sold as "donuts",
also light & night spelt as lite & nite.
*"Baby On Board" signs in
cars. Do they help us decide which car not to
hit in case of an accident. (If an accident occurs
they tell the police or ambulance crew that there is a baby somewhere in
the car, if not found they search the area)
*All footballers being called football
stars rather than footballers.
*The expression "What are you
like" [My pet hate too.. boring people, with
*Products marked "Improved",
even worse "New Improved".
*Boy racers in pathetic cars with
*Nobodies referred to as Icons.
*Queuing in a post office or bank
with eight tills when only 3 are open.
*The expression "It's not rocket
* People who say "inferring"
when they mean "implying"
* So much chewing gum on our sidewalks
* People who share their colds with
* UK Companies
who employ telephone operators whose first language is not English
* Delivery or repair persons who don't
turn up after we have taken a day off work to wait in for them
* Telephone sales calls, especially
when your X directory
* People not daring to overtake police
cars no matter how slow they are driving
* Football clubs changing kit to make
even more money out of their fans
* Parents who dress their little daughters
in "sexy" T-shirts
* Drivers who don't indicate their
attentions at roundabouts
* The use of the expression "To
Go" instead of "Take-a-way"
* Using models under 25 to advertise
* People that know their rights but
not their responsibilities
* British tourists abroad wearing
Union Jack clothing
*Internet pop-ups inviting us to buy
software to stop pop-ups
* Cones, but no road works
* People who wear sunglasses on their
heads [hey! I've been doing that ever since I threw
the flowers away!]
*People who say 'Tell me about it'
when you just have
*TV ads that are louder than the programmes
*Pub quiz teams who win every week
*People who tell us to 'calm down'
when we're angry.
saying "how long is a piece of string"
*Home owners not being able to deal
with intruders as they like.
*Piped whooping laughter in sitcoms
*Motorists who empty ashtrays in public
Cowell ( arrrr ~ He's Great and truthful)
© Phil Brodie